What You DON'T Know About Being 2@th!

What they don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you are twenty, you're also nineteen, sixteen, twelve, five, two and one. And when you wake up on your 20th birthday, you expect to feel 20th, but you don't! You open your eyes and everything is just like yesterday, only it's today. And you don't feel twenty at all. You feel you're still nineteen, or eighteen. And you are underneath the year that makes you twenty.Like some days you might say something stupid, and immature.
That's the part of you that's still ten. Maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama's lap because you're scared, ashamed, or helpless. That's the part of you that's five.
And maybe one day when you're all grown up, perhaps you will need to bury your face on someone's shoulder and cry like if you're three. It's only that you don't feel twenty. Not right away, it takes a few days, weeks even, sometimes months before you say 20th when they ask you. You don't feel as smart and wise as 20th, not until you're 21st. That's just the way it is.
Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion, one layer inside the other, each year beneath the next one. That's how being 20th year old is. You still act like a teen, immature and follow your mood swing, and you still act like a baby, coz sometimes, you might want to stamp your feet and cry. It's because those emotions from age, ten, seven, six and five are still there. They will emerge and roll along in your life, it's all yours. And this is how you are supposed to feel, not at all twenty, but it's okay. And if you aren't, you could wish to be 102! Because if you can reach that age, you might not have anything to deal with emotions anymore.
What You DON'T Know About Being 2@th! What You DON'T Know About Being 2@th! Reviewed by Sovathary Bon on Wednesday, May 20, 2009 Rating: 5

10 comments:

  1. nathary, this is your best post ever! i absolutely love this! know why? because it's absolutely true! some people give it their all to celebrate their birthday only to end up feeling slightly disappointed by the aftermath. they don't feel 20 or 21. they feel exactly the same. i mean, c'mon. is there even an exclusive feeling when another year is added up to your age? to me, no. to me, age is nothing but digits. it's not your age that determines how matured you've become, it's the experience. who's with me? :)

    great post, nathary! kudos to you! yay!

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  2. Yeah, i'm with you, girl! I feel so much connected to this post. Honestly, this is one of your best post. It's also like we, each of us, made plan at a certain age ---- What we're gonna or achieve at the age of 20 or 21 or so, But it ends up nothing besides we're still a child of ourselves! Depressed, Really. Or . . . . Or is it your birthday today? :-D

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  3. To Xana: So besides this one, u didn't like the rest of my posts? Kidding! I guess I'm writing of what I feel it's true, but I also think it's better to share, bcoz sometimes, we blame ourselves for being imperfect or unsuitable to our age, some ppl outgrow, but some undergrow. It's just the way it is, as they say, maturity has nothing to do with age, it might take time.

    To Kelly: My birthday was months ago, girl! But it's not too late to say Happy birthday to me. Heheheh Kidding again. Well, I'm glad u like this one despite of its long writing. 20th or not, it's all up to us, not the age itself. But how we're going to choose to act mature or immature, that's what importance. Because, things will be tougher when we grow older, if we don't think ahead of time.

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  4. I think there are of turns happen thru out the hold time of one's life. i.e. when we enrol into pre-school, primary, second.. all the ways to junior high and grad. You have just experienced fews major turns of those. Like you wrote, when your are ten, teen,... and now 2oth. And, yes Xana, experience does count.

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  5. To Sorphorn, thank for reading this post. U're right, life is meaningful with experieces, pre-school, secondary school are all our memories. And we were just a kids, so don't forget, when we are adults.

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  6. U know what? It's SO TRUE! You touch the right part of your readers my dear. I don't really know if I lie a 17 years old girl or a 27 years old lady inside me. But I have figured out that I have both as I'm in my 21 to 22. I missed my 17-18 years old and my bong bong at office always like the way I was when I was 17-18. They said I was hilarious, funny, happy-go-lucky, smile all the time. They said they feel alive and happy when they have me around. But everything has some bit changes when I reached my 21.

    Most of my friends and bong bong might only see the 17 years old who is till immature, who's still clumsy and dorky all the times, but they don't know I have my 27 years old inside. It's not an act I put, but it's sth to do with my personality, which I don't think it's unpleasant at all since it's all natural I was born with. But I forget about my actual age and chose to be 17-18 years old all the time when I'm with my beloved ones.

    What's you have said are corrects, but there's a point I would disagree with, is "Hundred and two! Because if you can reach that age, you might not have anything to deal with emotions anymore."... For this, I've stayed with most adults, even an old rotten one, not to mention the one who loss their memory. They were opened with me and they are greatly emotional than we are, but they just keep those inside. It made me thinking about my grandma if I did sth which probably hurt her when she doesn't say a thing.

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  7. Panharath, dear! It's great to have u read this, and u have quite similar parts as I do. It's like 17-27 years old is living in the same person. I act like a kid all the time, but when it comes to sth serious, ppl are just surprised and they couldn't believe I could be a little realistic than they think. And sometimes, my goofy act is to hide sth too, like not to let them know I'm a serious person, I got the feeling that they would be freak out or amused. Well, it happened already.

    And the point u disagree with me, well, it's a good thing u tell me, and I meant well, too. I meant that, when we could reach one hundred and two, we know how to not showing ur fear, anger, hate, disappointment, and sadness anymore. It's like we know how to control all those stuff. And when we're only in these age 18 27 or 30, we still have to deal with those feeling, which is common. My idea is that, most old people are emotionally steady and they're calm like a water, u can shake them, but u can't make any pressure or bubbles to them. They don't overreact or overexcited to anything, just like my grandma and urs. I'm sorry that I pointed unclear message. I'll be careful even more about what I want send out next time.

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  8. You know something different that I feel when I woke up at my 19th birth day?

    I felt like I was in my 20th wedding aniversery and my third husband pointed his gun at my boyfriend's face when he saw we had one night stand in our bed.

    The worst thing is that I can't remember how I forgot all my boyfriends names, and I don't know my real kids' faces.

    That's how your post can't relate to person like me.

    You know what, after I was away from home, I got the feeling that I was already old. But I felt good when I thought of a 24-year-old man like a baby shit, and when they came talk to me. I was like "Back off, kids. You're not at the age I'm supposed to be with."

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  9. Man, you got me laughing even when this nasty feeling of urs. Okay, u're this old at heart, but to me, hahahah u're just kiddish jerk. I don't mind how old u feel as long as u act the age u want, I act the age I want too. Cool, and i'm gonna act like 102 old-lady soon, so don't miss the old me. I got that well?

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  10. 102? It won't work because then you need to act like you have no teeth...

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